He didnt show up.....

Ok so maybe it wasnt a proper date ...but he didnt show up!
And its OK not to show up ...if your cats just died or you're traumatised by your tax bill, as long as you make contact and let the person ( me) know!!

It doesnt cost much to be polite ...and you know what, theres not much that I get p...ed off about but manners never hUrt anybody (CLICHES COME IN HANDY SOMETIMES)

The man I spent 8 years with ...Ok so it was a bit on and off...proposed , sort of ...well, it was more of an offer to be a "life partner " (whatever thats meant to be ) rather than an offer of a hand in marriage....anyway, when he proposed , I said "no"

and do you know why I said "no"?

Because he was late ...AND he couldnt be bothered to phone or even text to say that he was gonna be late!
Now you may think that I was being a bit unfair there...maybe there was more to it *(dont ask!)
but lets face it , if a man, or woman , doesnt think of the other person in the simple scenario of lateness, what are the odds of receiving some consideration when something more serious goes pear shaped ??

Needless to say ...Goldwing and eco house or no Goldwing and Eco house...last nights possibility will not be hearing from me again.

So looking forward, I have been asked recently " what will happen if I meet my perfect man on date number 5?" Great question!

My first response was that no matter how perfect he appeared to me I am dedicated to making no swift decisions this time round. One of my recent dates told me that he loved me the first time we met ....uh , hello????

He didnt even know me!

He hadnt seen the half empty bottle of Baileys in the back of the kitchen cupboard or the cat hairs on my dining chairs. He hadnt witnessed the wrath of a wild woman as an official at Companies House treats her like a kid from Kinderfarten or experienced the spoily brat who comes out to play when things arent going her way.
He hadnt felt the enormity of what he might be taking on as he uttered those words...quel fool!

Fortunately I was wise enough to make him totally wrong and wipe the floor with him before spitting him out with my cocopops in the morning!!

OK OK ...Im joking.

He didnt get to stay for breakfast..

No, I have fallen for guys at first sight before and it is the moment to become wary . Weak knees, a flutter in the stomach and that horrible neediness that forces you to text at 2am ,
just to ask what they thought of that evenings political broadcast..

That cant be the real thing.
That is what they commonly call lust ...

...and its bl..dy fantastic!

Been there , done that and got at least five T - shirts.

Now Im seriously after the real thing and as Ive never (knowingly) experienced the real thing, I need to start doing something very different.....

like having more than one date, before they get to hold my hand!

Call me radical.
Call me oldfashioned

but desperate times need desperate measures

Trouble is, Im dying to have a snog....

I might have to up the numbers by finding a speed dating evening ....is there anything on in London tomorrow evening I wonder.....