Giving up the story

Hello there ...how are you today?

I am back in Chester after a momentous time in London.

I attended my evening class at Landmark Education (ILP) and found myself really confronted by the fact that I am single and I feel that being single means there is something wrong with me . There isnt. I just think there is.

I hear others introduce themselves at network meetings: " Hello , my name is Jan . I head up a successful business in .....and I have a gorgeous husband and three beautiful children at home " You really get a picture of Jan as a loving capable well rounded stable and responsible individual. "Hi, Im Marie-Claire and Im single ...." and I can' go on as for me that reads "and Im a sad lonely cow!"

Except that thats hardly true...Im surrounded by loving friends and family!

So on Friday evening , I decided to give up my story about being single.
Wanna hear my story?

Im 17 and its Christmas Day and I'm happy, sitting in the drawing room at home with my Mum Dad and two younger sisters. The Christmas tree lights are sparkling and we are just about to open the huge pile of presents. My life is great. I have a gorgeous boyfriend called Nigel Green. He is the best catch! He is tall with slick blond hair and brilliant bue eyes. He s older than me and has already left school, has a job and drives a flash red car. I just love it when he turns up at the school gates or at home to whisk me out for the evening in his car. I feel very grown up , sexy and loved. So we are sitting in the living room, the fiveof us, and the doorbell goes. My Dad goes to answer it , closely followed by my Mum. Then I spot Nigels car in the drive way and I rush out to join them at the front door. My Dad is explaining to Nigel that it is not appropriate for to visit on Christmas Day. It is a family day. Nigel is furious. He spins on his heels shouting "Thats it! We 're over" He jumps in his car, puts it into gear and reverses sharply around the side of the house before speeding off down the driveway....and I am left totally devastated and hysterical. As far as I am concerned , "thats it! I am without boyfriend ...and it is all my parents fault!" I am beside myself.

...and what I didnt realise until I did the Landmark Forum was that I had carried on blaming my parents for the next 30 years!
Oh not obviously, but on a deeper level there was a part of me that held them responsible.
And how did I make them suffer? By remaining single, and unhappily single. After all, dont all parents want their children to be in happy loving relationships?

I now realise that what happened, happened. At 17 I was old enough to speak up and to have an impact on what happened. Instead I gave all responsibility to my parents and chose the story of a victim instead.

Oh and I had not just been blaming my parents....I never trusted a man again,of course!
The story I had created in my head at the age of 17 was that men leave you..
...and that story in my head was still running my life!

And so I give up the story...and I start to attract love into my life.

Whats your story?