Trying on new ways of being

Hello
I couldnt resist popping in again to give you an update.
I am still a Man Magnet and even the online presence is improving considerably! Suddenly all these interesting and attractive men are appearing on dating websites previously known to me as the land of "no hopers".
This is proof indeed that when we change our way of being , we create a new world of possibilities around us.

So having taken a weekend out to commit to getting my house and business in order (honouring the loving committed relationship I have with myself) I surrender to Lion s loving requests to meet up and I agree that he can meet me when I arrive back in London. Lion is the name I have giving my young Italian remember, and my intention is to tell him my real age and gently get him to see that there is no future in this relationship.

And he s there. I spot him before he sees me, in the middle of the crowded concourse...and he is as gorgeous as I remember. He s not bothered by the size of my suitcase, even proposing that we head off towards Camden, but Im happy simply to go for a quiet drink nearby....after all I am planning on terminating our relationship before it can begin. Ouch!

So he gets the drinks in and we settle down on a bench outside the London pub and he only has eyes for me ...and we chat. And in the space of chatting, I give up listening to the little voice in my head saying "he's too young" and "he's only after one thing" and "you cant trust men" and instead I actually listen to what he is saying.

And I love what he is saying. Here is a man who is clear on who he is, who can unabashedly share his feelings , who can ask for something and be OK with a "no" response (like really OK with it) and who genuinely is taken by me, so much so that he has told his sister about me.

And so I take a deep breath and address 'the elephant' that I see between us ...my age. He is 31 and he has guessed that I am 35-36. Now in this new conversation he ups his guess to 40, even 42 when pushed to go higher. I cant bear it any longer "47, Im 47!" I blurt out, and he simply takes it in and I swear he doesnt flinch one iota ( and believe me I was scanning his face for the minutest sign). He is totally unfazed by the equation that seems to have me floored....

And in that moment I choose to give up listening to the voice in me that makes us wrong. I accept that when he says that age is just age and makes no difference, that maybe he has a point ...and I give up resisting. I like this man. He has more integrity, balance and beauty than many men I know who are ten or twenty years older. And he has a peaceful way about him that makes me feel that Id be safe with him in the strongest of storms. He says that he is fearless. He says it in a simple unboastful way, like its just a matter of fact...and I am impressed. I like being with this lion of a man.

And in that moment where I give up my preconceptions of men and ages, I relax into having fun. I remember other couples I know where the man is considerably younger than the woman and they are happy. New evidence comes in to support my new way of being around men.

And so instead of finishing our relationship based on nothing except my preconceptions , I am happily looking forward to our third date. And I feel gloriously happy and have no attachment to the outcome whatsoever. It is wonderfully refreshing.

Meanwhile my inbox is filling up with new suitors and my day is brightened by one message showing stacks of smileys, funny faces and banners saying "I love you" ....and I laugh out loud! For I realise that love is playful, delicious and fun
and at last I feel able to relax and to play the game.

Let me finish with a request...if you are following this blog, please show your face and let me know how youre getting on with the date challenge. Sometimes it feels a bit wierd to be sharing my innermost secrets with invisible friends and Im sure youd get a lot from sharing whats been happening with you and your dating.
Thank you.

Happy dating!
Marie-Claire xx