Trying on new ways of being

Hello
I couldnt resist popping in again to give you an update.
I am still a Man Magnet and even the online presence is improving considerably! Suddenly all these interesting and attractive men are appearing on dating websites previously known to me as the land of "no hopers".
This is proof indeed that when we change our way of being , we create a new world of possibilities around us.

So having taken a weekend out to commit to getting my house and business in order (honouring the loving committed relationship I have with myself) I surrender to Lion s loving requests to meet up and I agree that he can meet me when I arrive back in London. Lion is the name I have giving my young Italian remember, and my intention is to tell him my real age and gently get him to see that there is no future in this relationship.

And he s there. I spot him before he sees me, in the middle of the crowded concourse...and he is as gorgeous as I remember. He s not bothered by the size of my suitcase, even proposing that we head off towards Camden, but Im happy simply to go for a quiet drink nearby....after all I am planning on terminating our relationship before it can begin. Ouch!

So he gets the drinks in and we settle down on a bench outside the London pub and he only has eyes for me ...and we chat. And in the space of chatting, I give up listening to the little voice in my head saying "he's too young" and "he's only after one thing" and "you cant trust men" and instead I actually listen to what he is saying.

And I love what he is saying. Here is a man who is clear on who he is, who can unabashedly share his feelings , who can ask for something and be OK with a "no" response (like really OK with it) and who genuinely is taken by me, so much so that he has told his sister about me.

And so I take a deep breath and address 'the elephant' that I see between us ...my age. He is 31 and he has guessed that I am 35-36. Now in this new conversation he ups his guess to 40, even 42 when pushed to go higher. I cant bear it any longer "47, Im 47!" I blurt out, and he simply takes it in and I swear he doesnt flinch one iota ( and believe me I was scanning his face for the minutest sign). He is totally unfazed by the equation that seems to have me floored....

And in that moment I choose to give up listening to the voice in me that makes us wrong. I accept that when he says that age is just age and makes no difference, that maybe he has a point ...and I give up resisting. I like this man. He has more integrity, balance and beauty than many men I know who are ten or twenty years older. And he has a peaceful way about him that makes me feel that Id be safe with him in the strongest of storms. He says that he is fearless. He says it in a simple unboastful way, like its just a matter of fact...and I am impressed. I like being with this lion of a man.

And in that moment where I give up my preconceptions of men and ages, I relax into having fun. I remember other couples I know where the man is considerably younger than the woman and they are happy. New evidence comes in to support my new way of being around men.

And so instead of finishing our relationship based on nothing except my preconceptions , I am happily looking forward to our third date. And I feel gloriously happy and have no attachment to the outcome whatsoever. It is wonderfully refreshing.

Meanwhile my inbox is filling up with new suitors and my day is brightened by one message showing stacks of smileys, funny faces and banners saying "I love you" ....and I laugh out loud! For I realise that love is playful, delicious and fun
and at last I feel able to relax and to play the game.

Let me finish with a request...if you are following this blog, please show your face and let me know how youre getting on with the date challenge. Sometimes it feels a bit wierd to be sharing my innermost secrets with invisible friends and Im sure youd get a lot from sharing whats been happening with you and your dating.
Thank you.

Happy dating!
Marie-Claire xx

I am a Man Magnet

Its official.

Last week I moved to London and I became a Man Magnet!

There were gorgeous men everywhere ...on the tube, the train, the bus, in Waitrose, in the streets, in the bars. Were they there before or had my blinkered viewpoint only glimpsed the dodgy and down at heart looking guys?

Time aftyer time I found myself face to face with yummy looking guys. And the next incredible thing was that they were all smiling at me! Open hearted warm fun loving smiles. Welcoming friendly smiles.

And I responded. I connected with them. I started having conversations and connecting with the beautiful men in London.

One of the first times was when I was sitting in the tube. Now people dont talk in the tube. They dont even dare to look another in the eye. Its a "dog eat dog" environment. People push to get on the tube . They huff and puff about the lack of space. They snarl at each other like an angry pack of dogs. They are afraid of connection within such a confined space.

And I am sitting in my seat and there is an average slightly strange guy sitting opposite me. He s definitely not my type! He tries to catch my eye and I look away hurriedly.

And then I catch myself , making a judgement on another human being and choosing not to connect with him. And so I choose to do something different. I take myself in hand and I allow my eyes to meet his briefly across the carriage. It is little scary and I have to remind myself that he is simply another human being doing his best in life.

He acknowledges me with a couple of "knowing" glances and then as we both leave the train he effortlessly engages me in conversation. He asks about my day and shares with me a little about himself, including that he has personally woven the cardigan he is wearing. He is an interesting person, I conclude as we rise together on the escalator. At the top he asks if Id like to join him for a drink....and its surprisingly easy to say "no" in a way that is both kind and clear. He is not my type after all ...but I feel so much better off for having connected with him in that moment.

Maybe that was the kick off point when I became a Man Magnet, because after that I seemed to attract men who wanted to talk. I was open to connecting with them on the tube , the bus, in Waitrose ...wherever I was. They ask me out. At first I was so astonished at this turn around that I gave out my telephone number to a few of them. Then I realised the unworkability of giving out my telephone number just because somebody asked for it. Doh! I became more choosy. After all, now I understood my standing. I am someone who attracts huge interest and so I can afford to be picky about who I spend my time with. And I am having so much fun!

Date wise, I havent been keeping track and I hasten to add that Ive dated very few of the men who have asked me out recently. Are you keeping count of my 20- dates?

Last week I met a really drop dead gorgeous guy. Lets call him M. The trouble was it felt more like a business meeting than a date. Mind you this morning I did receive a lovely text from him saying how pleased he was to have me in his life and how my book had made a huge difference to him. He was already attracting more money! Still, not technically a date...

Conversely I had a date with a young Italian called Lion. Very yummy but massive age difference and not really relationship material. Very flattering all the same. It did get me clearer about the type of guy I see myself with and I wont be settling for anything less!

Next week I have a couple of dates on Monday and Wednesday but they are with "old" friends. There will be some flirting and they will be fun evenings but they dont really hold the possibility of a relationship developing.

So I am staying wide open ( gosh, that sounds rude and its not meant to be , honest!) to possibilities. I am responding to occasional emails online and open to chat with the men I meet ...and they are still appearing from everywhere! Yesterday I stopped to do the tyres on my car and this good looking macho looking man appeared and was delighted to offer me help....and I was delighted to receive his help.

And I am feeling much more confident in expressing myself with those men already in my life with whom I have a spark of a connection.

I stay committed to being in a loving relationship...... and in doing so I have stumbled across a loving committed relationship with myself. Yeeha!!

PS watch out for the forthcoming book "how to become a Man Magnet", subtitled "the fun way to discover authentic love"